Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
