He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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