If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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