That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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