To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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