Apparently you make a good broom.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
not ubering you a puppy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
