Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
