so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
