I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
