yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
