I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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