You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
