I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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