What a fucking waste of an outfit
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
