I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
