biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
