You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
