Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
