i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
