Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
