the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Boobs are out for the taking
be right there i have to get my cape
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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