They should really pass out barf bags in church
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
