I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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