The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
