Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
