the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You've changed since you got that strap on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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