He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
