I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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