I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
