She announced her abortion via fbk
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
