Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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