Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
