THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
