I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
