Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
