dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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