he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
