bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
