How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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