why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
