and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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