I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
