Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
