The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
