After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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