yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
