It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
