they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
