i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
