you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
