Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
